Boehner, do you copy? You must continue your m-mission.

On Wednesday, the GOP unveiled its budget proposal for 2009. It was a solid effort but it lacked one critical thing: any useful ideas whatsoever.

In case you've been absent from the country since 2006, the GOP has gone a bit, shall we say, nanners. Total bonkers. It'd be funny if the they weren't so serious about acting totally weird.

I've always been interested in Jungian psychology, and one of the things ol' Karl dreamed up was the idea of the collective unconscious. Basically it means that everybody shares the same thoughts deep down inside, and this shit rarely bubbles to the surface. But when it does, chances are everyone experiences it the same way. Think of it like a hive mind, except it's, shall we say, under the surface. Heheheheheheh.

Ah fuck me, I forgot I didn't use the "anthill" metaphor there. IGNORE THAT.

Anyway, if there's gonna be any credence for Jung's work, I think it can be found in the GOP. I don't know precisely when they all collectively went insane, but it has happened and now they apparently can't even bottle it up anymore.

If you need proof, look no further than the rise of Glenn Beck. Once a mere radio talk-show host, Beck landed on CNN Headline News, which is like the Atlantic League of cable television, then jumped up to the Majors in Fox News. Batting 5th in their daily lineup, Beck hosts a show that is so proposterous, so crazed that I sometimes wonder if we're just being treated to a daily psychiatry session.

Take for instance his 912 Project. Simply reading this shit doesn't quite grasp the lunacy presented on his show. If you saw the special, or clips of it, you saw a man cry on live TV about the fate of the USA. You see, by electing a socialist negro president, the US has instantly transformed itself into the Great Satan, filled with taxes and homosexuals and minorities who are VOTING.

Perhaps most disturbing about this 912 shit is his vaguely threatening "We Surround Them" theme. The "we" is the great Nixonian "silent majority," that is, a bunch of old white people who nod their heads whenever someone extols the virtues of CONSERVATIVE ECONOMICS while worrying if a negro is breaking into their Oldsmobile outside. But it's not the oldies we're afraid of. It's the Tim McVeigh crew who are still out there, as we speak, arranging fertilizer in ways that it was not really meant to be arranged.

I don't know if Beck is putting on an act or not. He's certainly more convincing than Sean Hannity, but if it's not an act, then I can very comfortably say that Glenn Beck is one bad trip away from a total psychotic break. How many other Americans are already in their psychotic snappings?

But this week's GOP budget also represents another mental illness: delusion. First of all, the "budget" wasn't even a budget, it was a packet of some flowcharts and pictures of white people looking happy because the country was saved by tax cuts. Or something. Second, it was chock full of maddening bullshit that couldn't possibly work, and anyone capable of using subtraction can figure that out.

For instance, the GOP thinks that by implementing tort reform, health care costs will be lowered so much that anyone will be able to afford it.

??????????????????

George H.Dubya. Bush referred to this as "Voodoo economics," and he was right. The GOP's strategy for the economy, which is something that more or less can be measured rather objectively, is to implement the dogma of low taxes/deregulation, stir well and voila! a healthy economy! I can imagine a church full of these guys, staring at a piggy bank, pointing at it with their fingers like Emperor Palpatine. "I COMMAND YOU TO BE FULL," they say. "I COMMAND IT. IT IS WRITTEN!!!"

I've talked to enough ordinary Republicans to be very dismayed by what is going on. Everyone seems to buy into the notion that Republicans are the last true defenders of freedom in this country, and that the Dems are all commie fag-loving abortionist Mexicans. That's not true, guys! Only Massachusetts Dems are like that!!

The only other explanation for this craziness is that someone is deliberately leading the party into oblivion. Perhaps GW broke into the GOP's talking points distribution system and began to barf its random utterances onto it. And instead of questioning the wisdom of introducing a bill that reaffirms the dollar as the nation's currency, they simply shrugged and went along with it because, by golly, the Colonel's telling us something and he's the Colonel so go do it!

I can only hope that GW tells them to "cut the power right now," or at least to "enter the track on the bridge to the right," which hopefully leads to an oncoming train. Until then, it looks like we may be stuck with just enough GOP economics to bring us to... FISSION MAILED.

Ah look, someone enjoying the benefits of Republican economics already!