This is Barack Obama, 56th President of the United States. Standing in front of him is some black guy.A hyuck! It's been six months since the Obummer took his oath of office and officially became prez. Since that time he's done a lot of shit, some cool, mostly bad. This is problematic because the alternative, John McCain, would have been an abject disaster. With Obummer, we have a moderately bad disaster.
Okay I'll admit it: Obama getting elected was exciting because of the hisory and the fact that he seemed to be just that much better than McCain. It was cool. But it didn't take long for him to start fucking up and my tolerance of him ended after around 30 days or so. No bitches, honeymoons don't last 100 days, we can't afford a 100-day trip to Egypt! Sorry baby!
A lot of youngsters thought that Obama would be cool, not merely because he can swagger or because he's got a decent crossover, but also because he could fix the problems the country faces, from pollution to the economy to health care to the invasion of midgets. Sadly, none of these problems have been fixed and my neighborhood is besieged by dwarves.
But here's the problem with kids: they don't know shit. Obama is nothing new. I remember enough of Clinton to know that he was disappointing his own peeps, but my years of Rush indoctrination prevented me from fully realizing that until it was too late. Consequently, we had Bush Jr., a fuck-up of the most bodacious caliber, and now Obama, who has the potential to match him. How? Let's count the ways.
1. Iraq? I rack you! RACK EM.
One of Obama's big promises was to draw down troops in Iraq and to eventually leave. Don't argue with me, he did say that in the campaign. Fast-forward to today, and we still have 100,000+ combat troops in Iraq. Sure, they withdrew from the cities (to bases either right next to or actually still inside the cities they were supposed to leave). But we should have a grand total of zero troops in there, and Obama sounded like that was the long-term plan.
Ending the war in Iraq (while escalating in Afghanistan, but that's another story altogether) has been a desire of the American people for a few years now, so getting outta there should be a slam dunk. But nope, the MIC is not done sucking the country dry yet. Americans ought to know by now but the MIC is still considered an ethereal spooky conspiracy boogeyman and as such aren't sure it exists.
As such, Obama is attempting to quash an Iraqi plebiscite that, if the majority of Iraqis say so, would force U.S. troops to leave in 2010 instead of 2011. This is plainly wrong but is a pretty clear example of how thoroughly entrenched business interests are in our foreign policy and, guess what, Obama is more than happy with this setup.
2. I MAKE MONEY. :flings dollars around, slips on a greenback and breaks neck:
You're gonna notice a pattern here, a pattern that should be understandable unless you're a blathering retard. Every problem with Obama is related to cold, hard cash. In Iraq, it's controlling resources and paying off contractors. With TARP, it's a pure, unrestrained raid on the treasury.
Yes, you remember TARP, don't you? B-b-b-but, that's a BU$HITLER thing, isn't it? Well yeah, it started under Bush's tenure, but Obama endorsed it. Now Americans are turning to Obama to fix the economy, which includes maintaining the banking system and finding people jobs. Well, if you were hoping to find a job in this country unrelated to french fries or gunning down suspicious looking pedestrians, you're in for a long, tough slog.
TARP is not the reason why our economy is fucked but it is a sign of the kind of "solutions" that will be presented to fix it. Mainly, these solutions do two things: 1) enrich people who are already rich and 2) make it look like we're doing something. It's rare that the government nails something that actually accomplishes shit, but this is not the kind of thing we want nailed. Well, maybe you want to nail it but not me. I have someone else I want to nail. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE SHUT UP.
The cousin to TARP was the "stimulus" bill that Obama went balls-out for right away. The stimulus was designed to kickstart the economy by throwing a shitload of money all over the place and then running away while everyone is distracted by picking up the money. Actually, about half the stimulus was in meaningless tax cuts. The rest is sitting around doing not much of anything. I don't know why that money is just sitting around, but there it is.
Obama planned, or perhaps not, to use the stimulus to do all sorts of cool shit, like making the economy "greener" and build new railways and install phone booths that fellate people and shit. Instead, what's been used so far has been used to rebuild roads, an important task but not very imaginative or useful in the long run.
Are there any plans to do any of the big picture shit? Doubtful. The rest of that money is probably waiting for the right contractor to come along, saying that they can drive trucks around or dispose of hobos or whatever pointless task they can be paid to do. There is talk of another stimulus perhaps coming up, but with the economy not showing signs of meaningful recovery, it's doubtful there will be any willingness to go along with another (needed) stimulus. The only question now is when will people realize that the wealth created in the last decade is gone (and mostly wasn't there to begin with) and it's not coming back.
3. You got a stimpack. :hit by a rocket, gibbed motherfucker:
Health care is set to be Obama's biggest hurdle, but as we speak (haha sike, you're not allowed to talk bitch!), Congress is about to go on a vacation (not a staycation) without addressing the problem. And it is a problem, because if you step on a crack and break your mother's back, you go to jail. Wait, no, I got away with it. No, instead you go bankrupt trying to fix that broken back.
While America has top-notch health care, access to that health care is basically shut off to over 90% (not NINE THOUSAND!!!!!!!) of the population. Insurance companies, under their most benevolent leadership, have been gradually jacking up rates, fees, copays, taxes, levies, Levi, Jacob, stubs, chubbs, chubbies, premiums and prices for ice cream, until today the pleasure of having a thermometer shoved up your ass (the only way to do it) costs you $200 a pop. Do you know how hard it is to pay $200 for a thermometer up the ass? Let me just say that I've already burned through five mortages to feed the addiction!!!
Numerous complaints abound about our system, but the chief complaint is that it is absurdly unsustainable. No matter how healthy you are, one major malady can put you into severe debt, unless you're so rich that you can shrug off such costs, or you have an insurance policy worth a damn. Inusrance companies have come up with a bunch of ways to outfuck their customers when emergencies pop up. Have you an illness or condition prior to the emergency? You might just be denied coverage outright for pre-existing conditions! If you pass that hurdle, mayble they'll come up with a reason to not get you the treatment you need right away, hoping to stall you out or push you to less-effective treatment. If all else fails, they'll force you to pay a percentage of the treatment. So if you need to remove that girder that fell on your head, the de-girdering surgery that costs $250,000 will be half charged to you! Have $125k sitting around? Cool! Don't? That's okay, you can just go bankrupt/get fucked!
For the majority of Americans, this is a distinct possibility. If I were to get ovarian cancer, it could potentially ruin me. It would also be really insane because I don't have ovaries! (yet)!
!!!!
!! So we have recently this flare-up over who will pay for health care in America. Will it be the peons and plebes, or will it be the government? Obama has a solution:
Force everyone in America... to buy private health insurance... there is nothing else after that ellipsis... stop using ellipses...!
"Now wait one darn second there, missy!" you might be saying. And I'll remind you again that I do NOT have ovaries. "He's gonna make all of us buy insurance, but is he gonna fix the costs and force companies to treat us?" Well, he SAYS he will do both of those things. He also said we'd be getting out of Iraq, that we would take serious steps to improve the economy, that Santa is real (I WANT TO BELIEVE), that Mark Buehrle threw a perfect game, that's black, that he is the so-called President of a so-called America, and that this is what it's like when doves cry. In other words, he is a family that can't reconcile, if my understanding of "Purple Rain" is correct.
So you understand that the situation is already dicey. Add to that that the insurance companies have lobbied the everliving fuck out of Congress (who, at the end of the day, are the main driver of this shit) and you should realize that the chances of meaningful, effective health care reform in this country are basically nil. And that's no laughing matter.
On the other hand, "Ghostbusters" is pretty damn funny.
These are three reasons why Obama is an OBUM. But they aren't the only reasons, not by a long shot. The truth is that by the end of his first term, assuming the population isn't that retarded (a risky assumption to begin with), he is going to disappoint the shit out of the country. And things will be bad and you should feel bad. But, before he died, Michael Jackson sang "Bad," and it was a good song. Not his best but still good. And "Bad" begat "Fat," and most Americans are fat. And bad. But it is not the worst thing in the world. We could all be living in Omaha.
If this bummed you out, well, welcome to the real world SONNY.
No comments:
Post a Comment