This makes NO CENSUS (heheeehehe

It's 2010, and that means only one thing: It won't be until 2211 until we have a year where the sum of the first two digits are half of the sum of the second two digits. Coincidentally, it's also Census Time!!

Because America is one of the worst countries ever, it turns out that we can't even do this stupid shit right. The Teabaggers, America's favorite retarded children, are pulling yet another page out of the Kid in the Back of the Room Playbook and are refusing to fill out something that is constitutionally mandated. Perhaps they think that if they fill it out, Herod will slay all their kids.

But since I have no kids (that I know of (hyuck hyuck)), I'll fill mine out. The census people, recognizing how stupid Americans are, say that you'll need 10 minutes to fill out these 10 questions. Keep in mind that this is NOT a short-answer test.

Here we go.

1) How many people were living or staying in this house, apartment, or mobile home on April 1, 2010?

On April 1? A bit confusing since I don't know if they want a joke answer or if this question itself is a joke. Also no cardboard boxes? There goes half of South Boston.

2) Were there any additional people staying here that you did not include in Question 1?

Answers include little kids, relatives, nonrelatives or temporary guests. I don't know why the fuck you would not include your kids. Maybe the census people were being proactive in anticipating how stupid people would be. Or maybe Herod's agents are trying to trick Teabaggers into revealing how many kids they have to slaughter.

3) Is this house, apartment, or mobile home owned by you or someone in the house with a mortgage or loan? Or owned outright? Rented? Or occupied without payment of rent?

I guess to find out who's squatting so that cruise missiles can be alotted appropriately.

4) What is your telephone number?

Teabaggers don't like giving this one out. Surely the government has not yet mastered the secret of the white pages...

5) What is your name?

It has a box for a middle initial but no Christian/confirmation name. This means serious trouble.

6) What is your sex?

No box for "yes please."

7) What is your age (as of 4/1/10) and DOB?

So the Census people can send you the appropriate number of candles, I guess.

8) Are you of Hispanic, Latino, or Spanish descent?

Choices include "no," "Mexican/Chicano," "BORICUA :blows horn:" "Cubano," "other." Once again Dominicanos are assed out. New York is NOT gonna like this.

9) What is your race?

Some retardandos have made a fuss about this, opting to fill in something stupid like "American!!" They're actually just gonna fill in "White" like everyone else.

Interestingly enough, they don't have "Arab" or "Persian" listed, which is weird. But they want you to distinguish between your Asiatics (i.e., Hmong, Cambodian, etc.), but I guess it makes no difference if you're African, mixed-African (what is a black Cuban supposed to fill out?), or European. All the turdlickers who want to fill out Norwegian, Xhosa, Italian, Afrikaan or German-Swiss are assed out.

10) Do you sometimes live or stay somewhere else?

Choices include hiding out in college, hiding out in the military, hiding out in your summer home, hiding out in jail, or hiding out in a nursing home.

I guess if you take the last few questions it can take more than three minutes. At any rate, those are the 10 Census questions for Census 2010. It's been a good one, folks! See you next year!!