A Phunney Book: Me Talk Pretty One Day

Some foolish person recommended me this book. To sav him or her (it was a her) from embarrassment, I won't name her name. But she knows who she is, and she will pay.

I'm just joshing*. Much to my surprise, she picked a good one. "Me Talk Pretty One Day" is a solid read, but I don't need to convince you of that, now do I?

I didn't know how to go into this one. At first I thought it was a novel, because that's what the title sounded like. Some kind of potentially lame coming-of-age story, perhaps taking place in rural Nebraska. Well, not rural. Suburban. Like in those commercials. Fuck it, maybe Illinois. It doesn't matter. I pictured a story of an awkward teen (a girl, natch) growing through adversity to become her own woman or some bullshit. The kind of chick lit that's turned into multimillion dollar pictures starring Rene Russo Barbra Streisand the one from that movie where she's the guy's best friend, I think it was Dermot Mulrooney, and she was like, "No, don't marry Cameron Diaz, marry me! I'm Julia Roberts and I'm more fun and vivacious and we know each other better!" And in the end she totally doesn't. It's actually somewhat underrated if a bit stupid and plodding. You know the one. Yeah, yeah, I think it was Meg Ryan! What? No, person's name was Meg Ryan, not the movie.

Wait, what the fuck was I talking about? Oh yeah. So much to my surprise, this was by a collection of essays, and not by some dumb chick lit author, but by David Sedaris. Actually I don't know if he ever wrote chick lit, but a chick did recommend him so I have my suspicions.

I know of the Sedarises thanks to his apparent sister, Amy, who was in Strangers with Candy and some other things. But mainly Strangers. So now I knew what to expect: exasperated comedian writes essays about stuff.

These kinds of books can be hit or miss. If they're from a guy who does standup, dollars to donuts they're reprints of their routines. Not good if you've seen their routines live. Even worse if you've seen their routines live and they weren't good. Maximum worse if they're Dane Cook.

I dunno if Sedaris has ever done standup. I suspect he hasn't, because he can actually write. Sentences, I mean. He can spin yarns. Not that standup comedians can't, but they generally refrain from doing that because their schtick is in talking. No, Sedaris can write.

The best thing about the book is that it's unconventional. The stories often don't make sense. David's life is apparently purposeless, his frustrations usually amounting to no more than a low level of ennui, like a loud fart in bed. They're realistic enough that I can take him as his word that they happened, which makes things even better.

Best of all, there wasn't an essay I didn't really dislike. Well, the final one I didn't finish because it was rather gross and I was eating pizza. Excuse the fuck out of me I like to read during lunch. Don't you judge me.

Sedaris also has a favorite essay-writing style of mine: conversational. You can probably figure out why I like that style so much, you berk.

I dunno what Sedaris' actual occupation is these days, but I do know he wrote other stuff. He should try writing sitcoms. I bet he'd be a natural with Curb. But I don't want to be too pushy.

I don't read too many of these kinds of books, but in the list of top comedic autobiographical essays, Me Talk Pretty One Day is No. 1.





Of 2.






Stop being so sensitive.
































* I'm not joshing at all. I'm gonna show up at work and confront you. But by then I will have forgotten about what so it will just be a lot of awkward glancing around and eye contact avoidance. Followed by what I hope is some messy sex or at least you feeding me something. Something that tastes good, please, like veal. Wait, no not veal. Ummmmmm fuck it let's play it safe. Give me a steak and fries. Did you know that in France they're called steak-frites? I knew that. I took French in high school. One day we should tour France, it's not as boring as it is in Sedaris' book. At least I hope not. Anyway bye.